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How can we live life fully connected to the core values of nonviolence, no matter the circumstances, internal or external? Join Miki Kashtan as she shares the 17 core commitments that have served as a compass for herself and hundreds of others around the world as well.

Trainer Tip: Punitive use of force stems from a belief that people behave in certain ways because they're bad, and that they need to be punished to mend their ways. One way to punish is to judge them. In contrast, protective use of force stems from a desire to prevent injury or injustice. It focuses on protecting people’s rights and well-being, not judging their behavior.

Avoiding conflict is an even greater issue than having conflict. Not being as competent at conflict we avoid it. And in many cases that creates more conflict. Conflict is inevitable because we have different perspectives. Conflict is not bad. It is an opportunity for increased connection, intimacy, joy, and creative win-win solutions. Instead of avoiding conflict, we can work on increasing our skill in handling conflict.

Whether privileged or not, its not easy to see the humanity of others in different social locations, especially if their actions have unwanted impacts and have left behind our humanity. Aiming for “both sides hearing each other” empathically, and to focus on effect rather than intent when we have more privilege, may theoretically lead to liberation. Yet, in practice it can reinforce rather than transcend power differences -- unless there's specific ways to focus attention and choice. Here, its important to transform expectations into working with willingness, and within our own terms and timetable.

Trainer Tip: Empathy is a process in which we acknowledge and understand others' experience without judging or bringing up our own life experience. It can defuse a violent situation and anger in seconds, plus provide a clarity that catapults someone to a deeper level of understanding. The process is simple; listen for their feelings and needs. It can be healing for them to be deeply understood.

Trainer tip: If you are in a relationship (whether personal or work related) that you are not happy with, consider talking to the other person in an effort to connect about both your needs. Talking about it doesn’t guarantee that you will like the resolution, but not talking about it guarantees continued unhappiness. Read on for more.

Based on your observations of "power with" interactions choose a specific, do-able to practice so that you're prepared the next time you're in a power under/power over dynamic. Keep the practice simple to do in a difficult moment. Then reflect: identify what you did (internally or externally) or said that (de)escalated the dynamic. This practice requires noticing what went well, self compassion, perseverance, and support.

Here's a quick tip to improve your empathy skills with empathy guessing.

In NVC we define needs as resources that life requires to sustain itself. All human beings have the same needs. The strategy is what we do to meet that need. Strategies are specific; we all choose unique ways to meet our needs. The more we can see the difference between the two, the more likely we are to resolve conflicts with ease. Today, look for opportunities to notice the difference in the given situation.

When your dedication to something is fueled by a profound intention to benefit all life, you may call it your spiritual practice. This means cultivating compassion, wisdom, and skills to notice what truly serves life. Its a discovery and experiment in what does and doesn't serve life, and what you can do now - its not about what you believe or not. Continuously inquire: "What most deeply serves life and how can I do that right now?"