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NVC Resources on Feelings

Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

Differentiating Between Feelings And Faux Feelings

with NVC Academy Staff

Learning Tool • N/A •

Learning Tool
N/A

This chart is intended as an aid to translating words that are often confused with feelings. These words imply that someone is doing something to you and generally connote wrongness or blame. To use this list, when somebody says “I’m feeling rejected,” you might translate this as: “Are you feeling scared because you have a need for inclusion?”

Feelings vs. Thoughts Vocabulary Builder

Feelings vs. Thoughts Vocabulary Builder

Feelings vs. Thoughts Vocabulary Builder

with Mark Schultz

Practice Exercise • 10 minutes •

Practice Exercise
10 minutes

This ten question exercise will help build your feelings vocabulary. It is helpful to differentiate between words that describe what we think others are doing around us, and words that describe actual feelings. These "faux feelings" often reveal more about how we think others are behaving than what we are actually feeling ourselves. Feeling words are always about us, not the other person.

Building A Feelings Vocabulary

Building A Feelings Vocabulary

Building A Feelings Vocabulary

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Without knowing our feelings, its harder to live fully present, take care of ourselves, and make sound decisions. If its difficult for you to know what you feel and to express your feelings, consider reviewing a list of feelings, practice expanding your feelings vocabulary, and naming your feelings.

Feelings vs Interpretations

Feelings vs Interpretations

Feelings vs Interpretations

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 1-2 minutes •

Article
1-2 minutes

Here's a list of words that pose as feelings, but are actually interpretations of what you think someone is doing to you. They trigger defensiveness in another thereby preventing a connected dialogue. Behind each of these words are precious feelings and needs. This sheet includes ways to distinguish feelings from interpretations.

Evaluations vs. Feelings

Evaluations vs. Feelings

Evaluations vs. Feelings

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Beware that your expression of feelings helps you own how you feel, rather than blaming the other person for doing something you see as wrong. Expressing your feelings helps the other person know how deeply this issue affects you. Plus it can bring more clarity and connection to all parties. Read on for more.

The Cause of Our Feelings

The Cause of Our Feelings

The Cause of Our Feelings

with John Kinyon and Miki Kashtan

Trainer Tip • 3-5 minutes •

Trainer Tip
3-5 minutes

Ask the Trainer: “I would love some clarity about the NVC perspective on the cause of our feelings. It seems to me that my needs may be met or not, but the cause of my painful feelings is my story around the situation.”

The Heart of the Matter: Connecting More Deeply to Your Feelings and Needs

The Heart of the Matter: Connecting More Deeply to Your Feelings and Needs

The Heart of the Matter: Connecting More Deeply to Your Feelings and Needs

with Miki Kashtan

Audio • 2 hours, 21 minutes •

Audio
2 hours, 21 minutes

Do you want to increase your capacity to identify and connect with feelings and needs? Would you like to enhance your ability to translate judgments? Join Miki for this deep dive into feelings and needs.

Feelings, the Second Component of Compassionate Communication

Feelings, the Second Component of Compassionate Communication

Feelings, the Second Component of Compassionate Communication

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Take a moment to consider feelings, our conditioning about expressing or even feeling emotion, and the value of re-evaluating our relationship to feelings.

Some Ideas for Using the Feelings & Needs Cards

Some Ideas for Using the Feelings & Needs Cards

Some Ideas for Using the Feelings & Needs Cards

with Peggy Smith

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes •

Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes

This guide features three activities that use feelings and needs cards: two verions of "Feelings and Needs Poker" and one for "Self-Empathy". Great for practicing alone, with a partner, or in a group.

A List of Feelings We All Have (Emotions and Sensations)

A List of Feelings We All Have (Emotions and Sensations)

A List of Feelings We All Have (Emotions and Sensations)

with NVC Academy Staff

Learning Tool • N/A •

Learning Tool
N/A

The following list of words are used to express a combination of emotional states and physical sensations. This list is neither exhaustive nor definitive. It is meant as a starting place to help you develop your emotional vocabulary and further support your communication with others.

Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

with Jeff Brown

Trainer Tip • 2-3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2-3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I understand that I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings, but my girlfriend doesn't. Do you have ideas for how I could get her to understand this concept?"

Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

Feelings Are a Response to Our Met or Unmet Needs

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Our particular needs and expectations in the moment, influences how we feel. So if you are feeling hurt, sad, angry, or disappointed, try to consider what your unmet needs are, and see if there are other ways you can get them met. Today, track how your needs affect your feelings.

How to Express Feelings

How to Express Feelings

How to Express Feelings

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

Cause of Feelings

Cause of Feelings

Cause of Feelings

with Sylvia Haskvitz

Audio • 13 minutes •

Audio
13 minutes

Many of us blame other people for our feelings but our own state of needs is the true cause. In this powerful audio, Sylvia teaches you how to manage your emotions in challenging situations and demonstrates the process of Screaming in Giraffe.

Feelings Cards

Feelings Cards

Feelings Cards

with Peggy Smith

Learning Tool • 1 - 2 minutes •

Learning Tool
1 - 2 minutes

Print-and-cut these 56 feelings cards for one-on-one, partner or group activities, to help support the pratice of empathy. Includes eight blank cards for you to customize.

Past Stories, Present Feelings

Past Stories, Present Feelings

Past Stories, Present Feelings

with Sylvia Haskvitz

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I have noticed that sometimes when I am in a story-telling mood I am usually trying to prove that I am right and once I connect with a need the urge to give all the information goes away."

Feelings and Needs Cards

Feelings and Needs Cards

Feelings and Needs Cards

with Free to Be Parents

Learning Tool • N/A •

Learning Tool
N/A

These downloadable cards are graciously offered to help busy parents who want more time and less struggle.

NVC Tools: Observations, Feelings, Needs and Requests

NVC Tools: Observations, Feelings, Needs and Requests

NVC Tools: Observations, Feelings, Needs and Requests

with Wes Taylor

Video • 28 minutes •

Video
28 minutes

In this introduction to Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Wes Taylor discusses the two basic aspects of NVC, the consciousness and the tools that help manifest the consciousness.

Judging Feelings

Judging Feelings

Judging Feelings

with Godfrey Spencer

Trainer Tip • 12 minutes •

Trainer Tip
12 minutes

Ask the Trainer: Is it a good idea to use NVC on persistent guilt, anger or depression without the aid of others?

Connecting Feelings and Needs

Connecting Feelings and Needs

Connecting Feelings and Needs

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: When we connect our feelings to our needs, we put ourselves in a postion to get our needs met and mourn when they aren't met. Here's a practical tip you can practice daily to improve the quality of your life.

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