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NVC Resources on Anger


Defusing Anger

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.

Understanding and Transforming Anger

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 
Article
6 - 9 minutes
Anger can alert us that a need may be threatened. When anger lives in someone as a well-worn habit, it arises from a place of dissociation from one’s heart and is entangled with misinterpretations, a deep sense of threat, a history of pain, and social conditioning that isn’t life-serving. Read on for how intention, mindfulness, and specific actions can change that habit.

Working With Anger: An Exercise

Practice Exercise • 2 -3 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
2 -3 minutes
Fully connecting to the deeper need under the anger can transform and release the anger, without requiring the other person to do anything differently. From there, you can reach an understanding of the other person's experience, feelings and needs underlying the actions that stimulated your anger to re-establish connection with your own and the other person's humanity.

The Mobilizing Power of Anger

Article • 3-5 minutes • 
Article
3-5 minutes
Anger can result in violence or in a movement towards positive change. We can see this happen in the push for racial justice. When you perceive anger as a form of violence your nervous system becomes activated. Your perspective narrows and old conditioning can take over leading to overwhelm, defensiveness, hatred, or violence. Read on for four ways to to respond to our own or others' anger in a...

The Importance of Anger

Practice Exercise • 2 - 3 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
2 - 3 minutes
Anger matters because it can let you know that you perceive a threat to universal need for yourself or someone else. It can draw your attention to something so that you can take effective action. Anger becomes a hindrance when you amp it up with your thoughts about what should(n't) happen. Instead, notice any "should" thoughts, see anger as a signal, accept that it's okay to have it, and look...

Using Anger to Serve Life

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
Trainer Tip: Sometimes we need to empathize with a person before he can hear our anger. Consider that all anger is an expression of an unmet need. If we focus on the need, rather than the actions, we are more likely to connect compassionately with other people. Be aware of opportunities to empathize with someone’s anger today.

Parenting and Anger: Walking the Ultimate Path to Peace (5 Session Course)

Audio • 6 - 8 hours • 
Audio
6 - 8 hours
John and Stephanie combine mediating conflict, parenting and study of brain science to this ground-breaking course recording on how to funnel your anger and your child’s anger toward mutual caring and peace.

Alarm Feelings: Anger, Guilt, Shame and Shut Down

Practice Exercise • 4 - 6 minutes • 
Practice Exercise
4 - 6 minutes
Anger, guilt, shame, and shutdown are often based on reactivity and “should” thinking. They narrow and distort perceptions, which can bring more suffering. So instead, feel them without resistance, nor acting on them. Bring clarity by naming your observables and thoughts, plus your underlying vulnerable feelings, needs and self-responsibility. Then mourn what needs were, or are, unmet. Only...

Responding to Anger

Article • 5-8 minutes • 
Article
5-8 minutes
When someone wants to speak angrily about another, do you want to move away, try to calm them, argue, set a boundary, or offer empathy? What supports you to stay self connected? You can set boundaries regarding listening so that you're less likely to defend the other party, or attempt to talk your friend down from their judgments, thereby escalating the situation. Disagreements can also ignite...

Transforming Children's Anger

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 
Article
3 - 5 minutes
What parent hasn't experienced a surge of protectiveness when your child hurts their sibling? Our cultural training calls us to immediately take two roles: the judge, determining who was wrong and what the consequences will be, and the police, enforcing the consequences. These thankless jobs often result in frustration, resentment, pain, for all. Read on for an example of how empathy...

Transforming Anger: The Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral

Audio • 1 hour, 11 minutes • 
Audio
1 hour, 11 minutes
Transforming anger is a key practice for returning to conscious presence and connection with self and others when triggered into a reaction. Join John Kinyon to learn this essential life skill through the Enemy Image Process and Learning/Growth Spiral.