NVC Resources on Demands

Choice in the Face of Demands

Audio • 1 hour, 8 minutes •

Audio
1 hour, 8 minutes

No one likes demands. Do you want to have access to choice when requests or demands come your way? Join CNVC Certified Trainer Arnina Kashtan as she provides tools to free yourself from the submit/rebel dynamic.

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Persisting vs. Demanding

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Persisting without demanding is the art of what Marshall Rosenberg fondly called "Dogging for our needs." We can learn to not give up on our needs and at the same time, refrain from demanding they be met.

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When Hearing A “No”: Demanding Versus Persisting

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer Tip: When they say "no", acknowledge what people are saying "yes" to. From there, you persist towards a resolution that values both party's needs, without demand. Persisting is when we try to meet needs by continuing to connect with another. Demanding is when we insist someone do something, or else face negative repercussions. Showing care and willingness to work with people can help...

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Making Demands

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

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Parenting Series: Understanding Requests and Demands

with Inbal Kashtan

Video • 8 minutes •

Video
8 minutes

Inbal speaks to a group about our habit of demanding something of our children but making it sound like a request, the components of a true request and the importance of being honest when making a demand.

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Making Requests and Avoiding Demands

with Sylvia Haskvitz

Practice Exercise • 5 - 10 minutes •

Practice Exercise
5 - 10 minutes

Sylvia Haskvitz offers a practical and effective approach to making requests. Learn the two questions that can clarify your motivation for making a request, three ways to discern a request from a demand, and five possible reasons for meeting requests.

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Demands vs Requests

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer tip: Demands are more likely to limit the possibilities and create distance between people. The trick to asking something as a request is valuing everyone’s needs equally. When you value everyone’s needs equally, then you are more willing to come to solutions that satisfy everyone. It thus opens possibilities and helps build connection.

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NVC LIfe Hacks 11: Effective Requests

with Shantigarbha Warren

Video • 4 minutes •

Video
4 minutes

Underlying much of our communication is a request: when we say something, we're usually expecting something else — perhaps something subtle — in return. Let's look at how to make requests clearer and more do-able, avoiding the pitfall of demands.

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Choice in Every Moment

with Miki Kashtan

Audio • 31 minutes •

Audio
31 minutes

This 31-minute audio with Miki Kashtan is packed full of power as she uncovers the dynamics of choice that are present 100% of the time, in every situation, regardless of the circumstances.

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Living In Joy

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: When faced with doing a task that doesn't seem fun try saying to yourself something to the effect of “I do this activity because I value...”. Complete the sentence with related needs, then ask yourself if you still want to complete the task. This can take the demand out of the tasks. Next, choose accordingly. This can teach you about, or give you more access to, true choice in life.

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Foundational NVC Skills: Requests

with John Kinyon

Audio • 1 hour, 25 minutes •

Audio
1 hour, 25 minutes

Marshall Rosenberg suggests that there are two requests that are the most transformative to relationships, (1) What’s alive in both of us? and (2) What would make life more wonderful for both of us? This telecourse recording offers an easy-to-digest overview of how carefully crafted requests inspire joyful relationships.

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Introduction to Using NVC in Parenting

with Inbal Kashtan

Video • 38 minutes •

Video
38 minutes

In this brief video, CNVC Certified Trainer and founder of the CNVC Parenting Project, Inbal Kashtan, offers a succinct and insightful overview for using Nonviolent Communication in your parenting role.

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NVC Tools: Observations, Feelings, Needs and Requests

with Wes Taylor

Video • 28 minutes •

Video
28 minutes

In this introduction to Nonviolent Communication (NVC), Wes Taylor discusses the two basic aspects of NVC, the consciousness and the tools that help manifest the consciousness.

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Life-Alienating Communication

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.

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Embracing Jackal Thoughts

with Liv Larsson and Miki Kashtan

Trainer Tip • 2 - 3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2 - 3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "In trainings I say our jackals are thoughts and now I've come to wonder if all thoughts are jackals...?"

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Key Differentiations in Nonviolent Communication

with Sylvia Haskvitz

Audio • 1 hour •

Audio
1 hour

Veteran CNVC Certified Trainer, Sylvia Haskvitz, reviews the key distinctions (sometimes referred to as the key differentiations) in Nonviolent Communication.

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Conflict Improv: Returning the Flaky Olive Oil

with Christine King, Jean Morrison and Kelly Bryson

Video • 15 minutes •

Video
15 minutes

Using an example from a participant, the trainers engage in a role play to explore how to stay in your heart even when being perceived as a difficult customer by store employees.

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Conflict Improv: “I’m Bored”

with Christine King and Kelly Bryson

Video • 11 minutes •

Video
11 minutes

In this amusing and inspiring video, CNVC Certified Trainers Kelly Bryson and Christine King engage in a role play about a parent talking to a seven year old daughter who is feeling bored.

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Conflict Improv: My Friend's Inner Jackals

with Christine King and Kelly Bryson

Video • 9 minutes •

Video
9 minutes

Kelly Bryson and Christine King engage in a role play about how to stay connected to a friend whose persistent jackal voices tell her that she is worthless and her life is hopeless.

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NVC Principles

with Miki Kashtan

Video • 22 minutes •

Video
22 minutes

In this 3-part video, Miki Kashtan discusses the spiritual nature of NVC, delves deeper into the NVC concept of needs and offers practical tools to make requests in ways that others are more likely to respond to positively.

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