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Tips for the Road Series: Tip 5. Separate Needs from Outcomes and Strategies

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 01/2016
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
01/2016

Eric Bowers explains how needs and strategies correlate to different brain hemispheres, and how relaxing into our needs opens us to greater possibilities.


Understanding Arguments Against NVC

Practice Exercise • 3 - 5 minutes • 07/13/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
3 - 5 minutes
07/13/2022

Even those who practice NVC can repeat old patterns of thinking, believing, feeling, and behaving. If they do, but still use ‘NVC language’ others may think the issue is NVC rather than the person’s capacity. This week, notice even a small instance where someone is against something you suggest. To build trust and connection, experiment with offering empathy or asking them to share what they think, feel, or need.


Self-Connection Exercise for Well Being and Interconnectedness

Audio • 6 minutes • 11/03/2010
Beginner Skill Level
Audio
6 minutes
11/03/2010

Jim leads a self-connection exercise focused on how our lives are interwoven with people we love, acquaintances, people unknown to us, and even those who have come before us or will come after us.


Starting and Maintaining a NVC Practice Group

Article • 2 - 3 minutes • 6/2012
Beginner Skill Level
Article
2 - 3 minutes
6/2012

This article explores ways of starting and maintaining NVC study groups and practice groups. It offers recommended reading support materials and poses questions to consider for structuring and organizing the group.


Key Assumptions and Intentions of NVC

Learning Tool • 3 pages • 2008
Introductory Skill Level
Learning Tool
3 pages
2008

NVC practice is based on several key assumptions and intentions. When we live based on these assumptions and intentions, self-connection and connection with others become increasingly possible and easy, helping us contribute to a world where everyone’s needs are attended to peacefully.


Responding to Unwanted Feedback from Peers

Article • 6-9 minutes • 1/2020
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6-9 minutes
1/2020

When someone offers continual unsoliticed feedback or advice, setting a boundary may not be easy if you care about how they might hear you. And if you don't set a boundary, you may eventually become resentful and say something you regret. Instead, here are six ways to respond, with varying degrees of effectiveness.


Help for Overwhelm

Article • 3-5 minutes • 11/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes
11/2019

Reducing overwhelm requires you to reconnect with your authentic choice, be present and compassionate with what's happening, heal trauma, and interrupt the trauma response. Read on for ways that may help you reconnect with your choice, presence and more on trauma.


Changing Our Habitual Approach to Change

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 3/2009
Introductory Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
3/2009

Most of us subject ourselves to so many painful mental jabs and they seldom stimulate helpful change. We can be like a frustrated animal trainer repeatedly whipping an animal, without ever helping the animal to understand what behavior is wanted or offering encouragement. Instead, punishing thoughts can be stepping stones to awareness. We can focus on sensing what we're really aspiring to. This is more likely to eventually produce sustainable change that'll serve us better.


Open-Hearted Disagreement

Audio • 6 minutes • 03/13/2011
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
6 minutes
03/13/2011

Miki demonstrates how to work with judgmental thinking, offering a two-step process to shift from right/wrong thinking about our disagreements to a more open-hearted state of being.


Moralistic Judgments

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 10/2005
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
10/2005

Trainer tip: When we express moralistic judgments we are implying that other people are wrong or bad because they don’t act in ways that are in harmony with our values. Judging the situation or people can create distance and hurt. Instead, we can express our needs and how we're affected, bringing greater connection and healing. Today, notice how often you judge, and how you feel when you judge.


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