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Transforming Children's Anger

Article • 3 - 5 minutes • 11/16/2021
Beginner Skill Level
Article
3 - 5 minutes
11/16/2021

What parent hasn't experienced a surge of protectiveness when your child hurts their sibling? Our cultural training calls us to immediately take two roles: the judge, determining who was wrong and what the consequences will be, and the police, enforcing the consequences. These thankless jobs often result in frustration, resentment, pain, for all. Read on for an example of how empathy transformed a child's impulse to hit another child.


Change Happens

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 09/07/2005
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
09/07/2005

Trainer Tip: The needs we focus on meeting and the strategies we use to meet those needs change over time. Mary shares about the life-serving nature of change.


The Highest Leverage For Effective Meetings

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 05/30/2022
All Skill Levels
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
05/30/2022

The highest leverage point for effective meetings is preparing with self inquiry. Before saying something, we can ask ourselves about who this is serving, what needs it serves to say it, if there is a request we want to make, how to make the request actionable, and more. If more people at meetings do this, it can reduce the overall number of tangents we experience at meetings.


Keeping Our Perspective

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 02/13/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
02/13/2022

Trainer Tip: We all want to be valued in our totality, to be loved even when we make mistakes. Wouldn’t we also like to offer this to ourselves? Compassion is about seeing the humanness in everyone, including ourselves. One way to express compassion is to remember your entire relationship and history of love with someone as a whole, rather than focusing on one disappointing incident.


Integrating Our Relationship To Gratitude And Mourning

Practice Exercise • 3 -5 minutes • 1/29/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Practice Exercise
3 -5 minutes
1/29/2022

Integrating a full living involves grief/mourning and gratitude. Here we'll more deeply integrate inner and outer dimensions of gratitude and grief. In any experience there's the outer aspect, an event that occurs in life. And there's the inner response to the outer event. When we judge the outer positively or negatively we're in tension or resistance to our experience. Here we'll explore a more integrated mode of experiencing.


Moving Beyond Needs as Met or Unmet

Article • 5 - 8 minutes • 10/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 8 minutes
10/2019

Sometimes when we regard needs as something that could be met or unmet by another person or by a situation we unconsciously hold the belief that our needs should be met. Or we end up holding blame or implying wrongdoing. People are more likely to resist a request made from this stance. Instead, here are practices to increasingly losen any remaining attachment or demand energy -- and open our hearts to ourselves and others while we make requests.


The Shadow Side of Autonomy

Article • 8 - 12 minutes • 01/2018
All Skill Levels
Article
8 - 12 minutes
01/2018

Could our "need for autonomy" be getting in the way of "partnership consciousness" (as NVC is sometimes called). Could "autonomy" also block healthy relationships with not only ourselves and with others, but also with the planet? This article invites us to consider how "autonomy" may colour our NVC practice at the peril of our critical values. Values such as our care for impact, shared responsibility, interdependence, compassion, consideration, and more...


Getting Started

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes • 02/26/2022
Beginner Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes
02/26/2022

Trainer Tip: Identify one goal and take one small step toward achieving it today. It doesn’t matter how much or how often. The reward is in taking the first step, and then the second and third until you’ve attained your goal.


Privilege and Needs - Part 1

Article • 4 - 6 minutes • 06/2011
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
4 - 6 minutes
06/2011

There's the real need. And then there's the privilege that’s offered as a substitute for it. Privilege substitutes support the existing structure of society. It can look to us as if giving up the privilege would amount to giving up everything -- if we don't believe the real needs can even be experienced. If we connected directly to the needs, we could become subversive, agents of change.


The Compass - Taking Responsibility in the Face of Guilt and Judgment

Audio • 1 hour, 3 minutes • 03/21/2015
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
1 hour, 3 minutes
03/21/2015

The Compass – Arnina Kashtan's in-depth transformational process – is specifically designed to support you in reliably deepening your understanding of your own and others' conditioning, and finding ways to reclaim your full connection with yourself.


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