Browse the NVC Library

It can be challenging to tell people that you don’t like a certain behaviour or action of theirs. Even with supportive intentions and compassionate language your message might be difficult for someone to receive. Of course, we are not responsible for others’ reactions, but we are responsible to care about each other, and there are effective ways to express ourselves with more care.

Marriage can be seen as a limit on freedom. Ideas of compromise collude with this view. Instead, notice when your "yes" to your partner is laden with obligation, duty, guilt, fear, or an attempt to win love or approval, and how it's not a truly free "yes". True freedom is different from compulsion, and doesn't conflict with other needs. When have you experienced true freedom? What conditions support your access to freedom?

If we are to transform the existing social order, and shift to a mode of liberation for all, we'll need to look at our own participation in it. This includes how much we are able to focus on keeping our hearts open; speak to impact without attributing intention; and retain a humility that includes our systemic context. Read on for "how to" when we are in a position of less power.

Trainer Tip: All people long for understanding. It is such an easy thing to give, yet rarely do we see its importance in creating peace of mind.

Transform arguments with these steps: take responsibility for your mind, increase your capacity for discomfort, slow down, show up and remember your values, offer understanding, take risks, and speak from your heart. Learning new skills takes time, energy and effort. However, it’s entirely possible to radically shift the way we communicate. The key is patience, persistence, and taking it one step at a time.

Join Eric Bowers in transforming past relationship pain, coming alive in community and creating thriving relationships. This 12 session Telecourse recording brings together Eric's passions for Nonviolent Communication, Attachment Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology.

What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work?  This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC.  It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life".  And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...

There are three things you can do to sort inner conflict and make doable, sustainable agreements with yourself. This capacity can build trust with yourself to follow through, and to develop diverse and creative solutions -- thereby increasing confidence and ease.

Trainer Tip: Sometimes when we look to fix someone's problems we think we're doing it to make them feel better, but in reality we are uncomfortable and we want to feel better. Instead of assuming you know what their problem is or what they need, listen deeply. Your listening presence can bring relief to the both of you and provide additional opportunities for healing. And along the way they may find their own way to a solution.