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  • 48

    Mins

Trainer Tip

1 - 2 minutes

10/2005

Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we see expressing honesty as a gift of our authenticity, and a chance for others to support us in getting our needs met -- this can flourish and deepen our relationships. We can notice and act on opportunities to be honest with the components of OFNR (Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests).

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The more we can stay present with our hurt, and own our interpretations, we are more likely to express what's important to us without blame and also to become resilient. From there, the listener can have more space to offer their full presence and empathy. Read on for more.

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Trainer Tip: Notice when you're tempted to wield physical, emotional, and intellectual power to get your children to do what you want. This coercion or force may bring short term ease, but long term it can be counterproductive. Ask yourself “What do I want my child to do?” and “What do I want my child’s reasons for doing it to be?”. Then consider ways to help them connect to their intrinsic motivation for doing it.

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Article

11 - 16 minutes

09/15/2022

One NVC principle is "stimulus vs cause" - one may be the stimulus but never the cause of another's feelings. When we're upset this principle can help us express pain without blame. However, when others are upset it's easy to slip into blaming them using this principle. Instead, we can hear their pain with care and heartfelt mourning - without guilt nor defensiveness, and whether or not we agree. All this is important if we're sincerely applying compassion. Read on for more.
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Let's look at the resources, awareness, and skills needed to ask for emotional attunement, celebration, relatedness, perspective, understanding, advice, and information. This includes expressing appreciation for what's supporting your needs, strengthening a sense of worthiness, and awareness of your reactivity and intention. Plus, making requests that are clear, specific, doable and creates a heart connection with others.

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During a crisis like the COVID-19 pandemic, we can draw upon inner and outer resources: gratitude, awareness of our senses and breath, plus compassion for self and others. We can also expand our understanding to curtail fear -- and limit the amount of time and energy we spend fighting and resisting the truth of what’s happening.

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Join Roxy Manning for a provocative fishbowl discussion about how privilege and lack of privilege affect people of color.
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Sometimes even a very skilled empathy practicitioner can go into offering a non-empathic response, even when asked for empathy.  Why?  One reason could be that our brains might be less receptive because of unseen forces that affect our brain and relationship with others.  This article speaks to the deeper "why" and also to one thing we could do to turn it around...

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Whether its pandemics, climate change, damage to the environment or other massive challenges that humanity faces, what are we to do if we can't agree on even the most basic information and knowledge? From empathic understanding we can focus on shared, universal human needs (where there is no conflict or disagreement) underlying our perceptions, and feelings. Then we can see if there are ways we can agree on to meet those needs.
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Trainer Tip: We can improve our relationships by focusing our attention first on connection instead of other stragegies.

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