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NVC Resources with Mary Mackenzie

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  1. Taking the First Step

    Taking the First Step

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/1/2021

    Trainer Tip: If you're doing personal growth work, and changing your behaviors, you may find yourself wanting others to join your efforts with similar levels of enthusiasm. When they don't do so, you may feel frustrated and place judgments on them, thinking they aren't as caring. You'll be less likely to feel disappointed in people if you remind yourself that when you do personal growth work, what needs you are meeting for yourself.

  2. Motivation Through Joy

    Motivation Through Joy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/19/2021

    Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.

  3. When We Need Empathy the Most

    When We Need Empathy the Most

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 8/10/2021

    Trainer Tip: On a scale of 1 to 10, how is your emotional bank account? If it’s lower than you like, consider what you can do right now to bring it closer to balance. Everyone in your life, and most especially you, will benefit from this. Even 15 mins of empathy may nourish you with accompaniment and perspective, even when the issues or circumstances in your life are the same.

  4. Acknowledging Other People’s Reality

    Acknowledging Other People’s Reality

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/23/2021

    Trainer Tip: Even if we don't agree, acknowledging others' realities can help demonstrate that we're including their feelings and needs in the conversation. Creating space for your reality and theirs can also bring a sense of connection, understanding, inclusion, abundance and fullness in life. Try it today. Read on for an example.

  5. Listen as Mary Mackenzie shares an eight step path to create your own NVC learning activities, based on your own NVC learning experience. In this session, Mary uses the value of requests and observations as teaching examples.

  6. Timing of a request

    Timing of a request

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/14/2021

    Trainer Tip: Stating our observations, feelings and needs can still be heard as criticism if we don't follow it up right away with a specific, doable request. Ending your statement with a request for what you want can clarify the situation and reduce the chances that you'll be met with defensiveness. Read on for an example.

  7. Staying in the Present

    Staying in the Present

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/5/2021

    Trainer Tip: Usually if we are in anguish, it’s because we’re not in the present. Instead of worrying, look to see if there is an action you can take in the present moment that will help change the situation. If you're fretting about the past, see if there's anything you can do to rectify the situation. Then take action. Read on for examples.

  8. Communicating Our Deepest Desires

    Communicating Our Deepest Desires

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/26/2021

    Trainer Tip: When we "protect" ourselves by not asking for what we want, we block ourselves from getting our needs met. From here, disappointment and resentment can build -- especially if this is a pattern. Instead, notice when you're tempted to do this, and be honest and upfront about what you want to improve the quality of your relationships.

  9. Safe Experimentation

    Safe Experimentation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/17/2021

    Trainer Tip: Instead of trying for perfection, let’s try safe experimentation: Acknowledge that whenever we try a new behavior, it’s bound to take us a few times before we get it right. Read on for how we can do this. We'll use learning empathy as an example.

  10. Meeting Our Need for Trust

    Meeting Our Need for Trust

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/8/2021

    Trainer Tip: When you suspect someone is lying, consider how it may be less important what the truth is. Instead, notice whether your need for trust is met. Without blame, nor labelling. you can make specific requests to meet your needs, while also respecting the other person’s needs. Read on for more.

  11. Love Trumps Everything

    Love Trumps Everything

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/30/2021

    Trainer Tip: When looking for a solution take the time to consider and connect to other's needs rather than just focusing on getting what you want. Such a basic shift in consciousness can make a profound difference in your relationships, both personal and professional. Notice how you feel afterward.

  12. Bringing a Dead Conversation Back to Life

    Bringing a Dead Conversation Back to Life

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/21/2021

    Trainer Tip: Make a boring or "dead" conversation more interesting, meaningful and connecting. You can do this by connecting to the other person’s feelings, passions or desires. Read on for examples.

  13. Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

    Change Your Thoughts to Change Your World

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/12/2021

    Trainer Tip: Changing your thoughts can change the way people experience you. Just for today, see if you can notice when you have judgmental thoughts about yourself or other people. Then look to translate those thoughts into your feelings and needs. Read on for an example of how this works.

  14. Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/24/2021

    Trainer Tip: If someone has enriched your life (or moment) in some way, consider telling them about it. Your appreciation might be just the gift they need to contribute to brightening their day.

  15. Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/15/2021

    Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

  16. Being the Change We Seek

    Being the Change We Seek

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/3/2021

    Trainer Tip: Is there something you would like more of in your life right now? Try not to look to other people to provide the kind of experiences you want. Can you think of a way that you can be the change you seek? See if responding to the people the way you would want them to respond to you shifts something. Read on for an example of how.

  17. Honesty Is the Key

    Honesty Is the Key

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/6/2021

    Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we see expressing honesty as a gift of our authenticity, and a chance for others to support us in getting our needs met -- this can flourish and deepen our relationships. We can notice and act on opportunities to be honest with the components of OFNR (Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests).

  18. Empathy vs. Sympathy

    Empathy vs. Sympathy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/28/2021

    Trainer Tip: When we sympathize, we relate an aspect of someone’s story to ourselves. When we empathize, we reflect the feelings and needs of the other. Empathy helps people connect more deeply to their own and another’s pain, and helps resolve issues with clarity and ease. Notice when you're giving someone sympathy rather than empathy.

  19. Making Demands

    Making Demands

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/19/2021

    When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

  20. Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships

    Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/10/2021

    Instead of wondering, invest time today to ask at least one friend your friendship enhances her life. Such clarification can deepen the connection.

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