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NVC Resources on Observation

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  1. Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships

    Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/10/2021

    Instead of wondering, invest time today to ask at least one friend your friendship enhances her life. Such clarification can deepen the connection.

  2. Honesty Is the Key

    Honesty Is the Key

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/6/2021

    Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we see expressing honesty as a gift of our authenticity, and a chance for others to support us in getting our needs met -- this can flourish and deepen our relationships. We can notice and act on opportunities to be honest with the components of OFNR (Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests).

  3. Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Expressing Appreciation In A Life-Serving Way

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/23/2023

    Trainer Tip: When we express appreciation using words like "good", "great" or anything else evaluative, it conveys we are in the position to judge, and that we've judged them or their actions. Instead, to express appreciation without judgment state what they did, how you feel about what they did, and which of your needs are met by their behavior. Such an expression of appreciation clearly states how your life was enriched, without judgement.

  4. Expressing Big Emotions Compassionately

    Expressing Big Emotions Compassionately

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 02/06/2024

    Trainer Tip: When we express frustration without blaming others and by clarifying our own needs and requests, we diminish the possibility of hurt feelings and separation in our relationships. So next time you feel very agitated or angry, rather than implying the other person is wrong or at fault, try the following: own your feelings, make a specific request, and rather than implying they need to give up their needs focus on your needs.

  5. What’s Important to You?

    What’s Important to You?

    Penny Wassman

    Practice Exercises · 2 pages · 7/29/2010

    This exercise is most often the first activity in a beginning level workshop after the usual logistics/history/check-in. Penny Wassman experiences it as an opportunity for people to build connection with one another.

  6. Making Your Empathy Guesses More Natural

    Making Your Empathy Guesses More Natural

    Mary Mackenzie

    Video · 3 minutes · 09/25/2023

    Join Mary Mackenzie, Certified NVC trainer, as she offers ways to incorporate NVC empathy guesses, feelings and needs into everyday conversations. This approach is geared towards adding deeper connection to the natural flow of conversations. The technique has become known as Street Giraffe.

  7. The Difference Between Needs and Requests

    The Difference Between Needs and Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/30/2014

    Trainer Tip: Knowing the difference between what we need and what we want someone else to do about that need can have a profound impact on our relationships and our happiness.

  8. Empathic Connection and Politics

    Empathic Connection and Politics

    John Kinyon

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 10/27/2022

    How do we talk to ourselves and with others about polarizing topics in a way that's supportive? Seek to understand and be understood rather than press for agreement. Bring mindfulness into the conversation. Slow down and use structure to support everyone. Release knowing the solutions, answers or outcomes. Keep focus on shared universal needs. From this place we can say what's in our hearts and minds, and trust the process.

  9. Longing For The Company Of Not-Knowers

    Longing For The Company Of Not-Knowers

    Robert Maoz Krzisnik

    Articles · 3 - 5 minutes · 8/21/2023

    How excited do you get about connecting with people who are proving themselves right and who act like they know it all? Do you prefer the company of not-knowers who are in awe of the mystery of life and exploring with humility and innocent curiosity? Masking our vulnerability in not-knowing can point to deep wounds inside us, where perhaps the common denominator is our desire to prove our worth.

  10. Much like other asymmetric relationships (such as therapist and client), there are complications related to power dynamics that can arise with any NVC trainer having sex with a participant. For one, there's (counter)transference. And there's potential for things that may not move outside this asymmetric relationship -- such as projections where the participant, and/or the trainer, is guided by un-healed pain of their "inner child".

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