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  1. Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Become Willing to Express Appreciation

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/24/2021

    Trainer Tip: If someone has enriched your life (or moment) in some way, consider telling them about it. Your appreciation might be just the gift they need to contribute to brightening their day.

  2. Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Evaluating Ourselves with Compassion

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/15/2021

    Trainer Tip: Every time you criticize yourself, you cause yourself to feel shame and guilt, which promotes depression and stagnation. Instead, bringing in more self compassion can increase opportunities for change. Do this by acknowledging your needs (or values) that aren’t met by your actions. Read on for how to do this.

  3. Being the Change We Seek

    Being the Change We Seek

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 5/3/2021

    Trainer Tip: Is there something you would like more of in your life right now? Try not to look to other people to provide the kind of experiences you want. Can you think of a way that you can be the change you seek? See if responding to the people the way you would want them to respond to you shifts something. Read on for an example of how.

  4. Honesty Is the Key

    Honesty Is the Key

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 4/6/2021

    Trainer Tip: In Nonviolent Communication, we see expressing honesty as a gift of our authenticity, and a chance for others to support us in getting our needs met -- this can flourish and deepen our relationships. We can notice and act on opportunities to be honest with the components of OFNR (Observations, Feelings, Needs, and Requests).

  5. Empathy vs. Sympathy

    Empathy vs. Sympathy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/28/2021

    Trainer Tip: When we sympathize, we relate an aspect of someone’s story to ourselves. When we empathize, we reflect the feelings and needs of the other. Empathy helps people connect more deeply to their own and another’s pain, and helps resolve issues with clarity and ease. Notice when you're giving someone sympathy rather than empathy.

  6. Making Demands

    Making Demands

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/19/2021

    When we ask something of a person and threaten negative repercussions if she doesn’t comply, we're making a demand. Demands limit the possible responses and reduce joyful participation. Instead, look to find mutually satisfying resolutions. And look for ways to change your demand into a request. Read on for more.

  7. Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships

    Overcoming Insecurity in Friendships

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/10/2021

    Instead of wondering, invest time today to ask at least one friend your friendship enhances her life. Such clarification can deepen the connection.

  8. A Focus on Needs

    A Focus on Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 3/1/2021

    There are endless ways to meet our needs. Conflict occurs when we argue over strategies. When we actively value everyone’s needs, we foster openness and deeper connection in our relationships. Today look for opportunities to focus on needs in order to resolve an issue with at least one person.

  9. Defining Needs

    Defining Needs

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/20/2021

    In NVC we define needs as resources that life requires to sustain itself. All human beings have the same needs. The strategy is what we do to meet that need. Strategies are specific; we all choose unique ways to meet our needs. The more we can see the difference between the two, the more likely we are to resolve conflicts with ease. Today, look for opportunities to notice the difference in the given situation.

  10. Four Ways to Hear Any Message

    Four Ways to Hear Any Message

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/11/2021

    Trainer tip: In every interaction, we have a choice of responding in one of these four ways: judge/blame self, Judge/blame others, empathize with self, and/or empathize with others. The goal is to make a conscious choice about our response. Notice the choices you have when you receive someone’s communication today.

  11. Hearing The Yes Behind The No

    Hearing The Yes Behind The No

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 2/2/2021

    Trainer tip: It's often easy for us to hear rejection when someone says “no” to us. If we focus on the rejection, we may feel hurt and fail to take the time to understand what is going on with them. However, if we focus on their feelings and needs, we're more likely to uncover what they want and what prevents them. To increase success in resolving conflicts and find solutions that work for everyone, hear the “yes” behind their "no".

  12. Saying Thank You without Judgment

    Saying Thank You without Judgment

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/24/2021

    Trainer tip: From the NVC perspective, everything someone says or does is either a “please” or a “thank you". In our culture, saying “thank you” usually involves an appreciation in the form of judgment or evaluation. Remember, whether we judge someone as good or bad, judgments and evaluations can create disconnect or tension. Instead, notice how their actions have enriched life, and what feelings it stimulated.

  13. Interdependence vs. Dependence/Independence

    Interdependence vs. Dependence/Independence

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 1/15/2021

    Trainer tip: NVC consciousness recognizes interdependence. In this process each person is autonomous; everyone's needs matter; people have choice and responsibility for their actions; there's abundance, and a valuing of coming together. The dependence / independence paradigm assumes we either need someone else to be whole -- or we don’t need others at all. Commit to living autonomously. Notice where you struggle with this.

  14. Defining Enough

    Defining Enough

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/16/2020

    Trainer tip: If you have a goal, want to be a "success", or want to do "your best', define what that would look like, and how much. Identify one goal and one thing you can do today to achieve that goal and do it.

  15. Life-Alienating Communication

    Life-Alienating Communication

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 1/6/2021

    Trainer tip: Be aware of times when you are judging others, demanding, making comparisons, or denying responsibility for your actions. Notice how these communication patterns affect your connection with other people.

  16. How to Express Feelings

    How to Express Feelings

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 12/22/2020

    Trainer tip: Feelings of hurt, anger, fear, and resentment can often sound alike. Fear and excitement have the same physiological effects on us, and are often expressed in the same body language. Clearly and specifically naming our emotions and the intensity level can help us resolve conflicts, with a much greater opportunity to get our needs met.

  17. Enjoying the Jackal Show

    Enjoying the Jackal Show

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/31/2020

    Trainer tip: Be aware of your inner jackal chatter today and make a commitment to listen for the underlying needs they are trying to tell you about.

  18. Opening to Intimacy

    Opening to Intimacy

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/1/2020

    Trainer tip: Do you have behavioral patterns that block intimacy? When we are feeling our most vulnerable, we often want intimacy but also tend to keep it at bay. Acknowledge your need for intimacy, and find people you can trust to love you as you are.

  19. Connection, Connection, Connection

    Connection, Connection, Connection

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/22/2020

    Trainer tip: Do you get into “right fights”? You know you’re in one when you’re arguing with somebody in order to be right or because you want to win. What needs do I hope to meet from winning or being right? Notice if you enter into a right fight today and shift your focus to your needs and connecting with the other person's needs.

  20. Differentiating Needs from Strategies

    Differentiating Needs from Strategies

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 11/13/2020

    Trainer tip: When we focus on needs further possibilities are more likely to open up. When we focus on a particular strategy, our world can feel scarce and conflicts can arise. Resolution comes when we value everyone’s needs and seek mutually satisfying solutions. We can ask for support towards this outcome.

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