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Miki explains the distinction between the language and the underlying consciousness of NVC, and the pitfalls of failing to do so.

One of the premises in NVC is that behind all behavior and expressions are Universal Human Needs as the deeper motivators. And one of the key distinctions in NVC is that between Needs and Strategies. Try Alan Seid's exercise called  "Peeling the Layers of the Onion, " a process for uncovering these needs — the deeper motivations — that underlie words and behaviors we may find disturbing or puzzling.

Trainer Tip: Many of us are afraid of our anger because we haven’t learned how to express it in a way that brings relief or that helps us meet our needs in the situation. Consider a different approach to anger, one that helps you fully express your anger and is more likely to help you meet your needs for relief, to be heard, or to be understood.

We invite you to dive into this voyage, where you and Robert will swim ever deeper into the Spiral of Life, coming face-to-face with your divine Life Force – that essential living energy that permeates all.

What could be, more often than not, overlooked when we think about or represent NVC or Marshall Rosenberg's work?  This article busts some commonly held ideas and approaches to NVC.  It challenges us to widen the lens of what it really means to be "life-serving", or speaking and hearing the "language of life".  And it also speaks to how thinking can deepen feeling and relatedness...

Trainer Tip: We all see through our own filters. To disentangle what we hear from some is really saying, check using understanding requests at the level of detail you need. Course correct along the way. In a charged situation this can be critical to bringing in clarity, being heard and resolving differences amicably.

Trainer Tip: It's impossible to value other people’s needs and remain compassionate if we simultaneously harbor judgments. If we're willing to shift this behavior we can translate our judgments into acknowledging how something affects us. Once I got into the habit of this, my judgments began to subside dramatically. It became easy to love people and feel compassion for them, and I experienced a freedom I had never known before.

Trainer Tip: When there's conflict if you set the intention to connect and build trust first, you're more likely to move towards resolution. This can be built through offering reflections that captures essence of what's important to each party. Once connection and trust is established, then begin the process of creating strategies and solutions.

Trainer Tip: Commit to doing one thing right now that will bring you closer to meeting a need today. Do it today. Don’t put it off. This is your life.

Trainer Tip: Our inner critic judges ourselves and other people; and it is the most likely to get scared when we begin to make a change. It holds wisdom for us if we are willing to listen. When we acknowledge our inner critic and empathize with its need, we gain insights into ourselves and we clear the way for resolution.