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Often when someone else does something we don't like, it's easy to blame the other person. After all, we have all been trained to focus on fault when needs are not met. What can we do to shift that pattern?

Ask the Trainer: "I recently attended an NVC workshop where the focus was entirely upon empathy, and expressing honestly was not covered. Aren't empathy and honesty both vital NVC components?"

Listen to this introductory 4-session Mediate Your Life telecourse recording to change your response to conflict and change your life.

Ask the Trainer: An NVC Academy member from Bosnia asks: "Is the NVC process truly effective in places where so much violence has occurred and people's pain is very deep?"

Trainer Tip: When we respond in a way that is less than our ideal in terms of using NVC, we don't have to give up and think we are no good at NVC or that NVC doesn't work!

It can be challenging to tell people that you don’t like a certain behaviour or action of theirs. Even with supportive intentions and compassionate language your message might be difficult for someone to receive. Of course, we are not responsible for others’ reactions, but we are responsible to care about each other, and there are effective ways to express ourselves with more care.

In our internal conversations, some voices dominate others, which can leave us feeling fragmented or overwhelmed. But when we dive beneath the surface and really listen to our many parts, we connect vulnerably to our full humanity.

Ask the Trainer: Can all needs be met when illness limits the capacity of one person to meet the needs of her partner?

Ask the Trainer: How do I respond to people who believe that consequences are necessary to change behavior?

Ask the Trainer: Is it a good idea to use NVC on persistent guilt, anger or depression without the aid of others?