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NVC Resources on Feelings

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  1. Connect Before Correct

    Connect Before Correct

    Sylvia Haskvitz

    Trainer Tips · 2-3 minutes · 7/29/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "Recently, I was sitting in my weekly practice group trying to connect to my reasons for wanting to give empathy to a particular person. She was telling us about some painful feeling she was having, but was not connecting to her needs."
  2. The Needs Underneath a Need for “Fairness”

    The Needs Underneath a Need for “Fairness”

    Miki Kashtan

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 7/28/2010

    Ask the Trainer: "I'm practicing with 'transforming the pain of unmet needs into the beauty of the need.' In identifying my unmet needs, I come up with 'fairness.' However, fairness isn't on the needs list! I'm wondering what needs might be underneath 'fairness.'"

  3. Facilitating Connection

    Facilitating Connection

    Jim & Jori Manske

    Audio · 59 minutes · 25/10/2011

    Expressing ourselves honestly is sometimes scary because we can't predict where the conversation will go after we've made ourselves vulnerable. This recording will demonstrate how the power of our honesty is enhanced by ending on a clear and present request.

  4. An Introduction to Self-Compassion

    An Introduction to Self-Compassion

    (10 Session Course)

    Robert Gonzales

    Multi-session Course · 11 hours, 12 minutes · 2/1/2017

    In this 10 session telecourse recording, world renowned CNVC Certified Trainer Robert Gonzales will help you discover a new level of self-acceptance that can lead to profound emotional healing and a deeper spiritual presence.

  5. When Hearing A “No”

    When Hearing A “No”

    Demanding Versus Persisting

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 2 - 3 minutes · 12/20/2021

    Trainer Tip: When they say "no", acknowledge what people are saying "yes" to. From there, you persist towards a resolution that values both party's needs, without demand. Persisting is when we try to meet needs by continuing to connect with another. Demanding is when we insist someone do something, or else face negative repercussions. Showing care and willingness to work with people can help them to want to collaborate and resolve conflict.

  6. Clinical psychologist, Robert Gonzales, Ph.D., uses an open dialogue with a practitioner to explore effective, compassionate methods to handle a volatile counseling situation. This resource has been newly remastered to a larger, higher quality video.

  7. Are You Living Your True Potential?

    Are You Living Your True Potential?

    Mary Mackenzie

    Articles · 5 - 8 minutes · 12/23/2018

    How can we live up to our true potential, a life filled with relationships and experiences that truly meet our needs? In this article, Mary offers us a way to bring about inner transformation that can lead to seeing ourselves, others and life differently -- for greater agency, empowerment and choice.

  8. The Importance of Making Requests

    The Importance of Making Requests

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 7/8/2022

    Trainer Tip: Requests include a specific action to help us get our needs met. If we have a complaint or in conflict, and we don’t make specific requests, people are left guessing and/or wondering about what will meet our needs. Our chances for getting our needs met can then become limited. Instead, try ending with a request to let the other person know exactly what you would like to happen.

  9. How To Know If Someone Has Been Heard

    How To Know If Someone Has Been Heard

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 6/11/2022

    Trainer Tip: People tend to look, act, and sound softer when they have been more fully heard. If you're unsure whether someone has been heard and you want to be cautious, you may ask them, “Is there anything else you’d like me to hear?”. If you try to reason with or educate them before they're heard, they'll likely respond negatively. After they're heard, you may notice a willingness on their part to listen and proceed.

  10. Serenity is a Choice

    Serenity is a Choice

    Mary Mackenzie

    Trainer Tips · 1 - 2 minutes · 11/15/2023

    Trainer Tip: In challenging situations, we can be peaceful and clear when we are able to connect to what we value most, and to act in harmony with those values. For example, if a coworker does something you don't like, instead of gossiping about their undesirable behaviors, you can talk to them about how both of you feel regarding what happened, and focus on the needs you're both trying to meet at work.

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