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NVC Resources on Responsibility

Exercise On Self Responsibility

Exercise On Self Responsibility

Exercise On Self Responsibility

with Robert Gonzales

Practice Exercise • 1 - 2 minutes •

Practice Exercise
1 - 2 minutes

Self responsibility is owning what's yours. It involves identifying your observations, evaluations, feelings, longings, and more. When we identify what's truly ours we are unlikely to mistake it as coming from outside of us. Self responsibility is not self blame. Without self responsibility, we project, blame and judge. Self-responsibility is central to clarity and full self-awareness. This...

How to Ask for Responsiveness

How to Ask for Responsiveness

How to Ask for Responsiveness

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 3-5 minutes •

Article
3-5 minutes

If it's a tender topic and/or you are looking for a particular level of responsiveness, you can let listeners know what you want back before you share -- or you can ask them for a particular kind of response right after you share. The more you can do this, the more it can create supportive relationships in your life. Read on for ways to ask for a particular kind of responsiveness to meet...

Taking Responsibility for Our Actions

Taking Responsibility for Our Actions

Taking Responsibility for Our Actions

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Mary shares an experience about accepting responsibility for her actions and how that lead her to greater choice and freedom.

Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship (4 Session Course)

Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship (4 Session Course)

Taking 100% Responsibility for Every Relationship (4 Session Course)

with Miki Kashtan

Audio • 4 - 6 hours •

Audio
4 - 6 hours

Taking 100% Responsibility offers a powerful antidote to the all-too-common dynamic of blaming that leaves you in the victim position and unable to have the relationship you want. Miki invites you to assume a stance of leadership while holding full care for both parties’ needs. No longer will you need to wait for the other person to change, nor will you need to give up your needs to reach...

Self Responsibility

Self Responsibility

Self Responsibility

with Bob Wentworth

Article • 6 - 9 minutes •

Article
6 - 9 minutes

Being self-responsible is about empowerment — via noticing what is potentially in our locus of control, getting to know ourselves better, looking at our own role in how we experience life, and making conscious choices to act within our own power. This requires us to be mindful in relating our stories to our needs. Read on for more on this, and the various pifalls within thinking about self...

Taking Responsibility for Your Choices

Taking Responsibility for Your Choices

Taking Responsibility for Your Choices

with Mary Mackenzie

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes

Trainer Tip: Giving up on blame and taking responsibilty for our choices is immensely empowering. Mary offers a tip for growing in this direction.

Taking Responsibility for Meeting Our Needs

Taking Responsibility for Meeting Our Needs

Taking Responsibility for Meeting Our Needs

with Eddie Zacapa

Trainer Tip • 3 - 5 minutes •

Trainer Tip
3 - 5 minutes

This trainer tip suggests ways to transform blame in to personal power. He suggests having multiple sources of support and multiple pathways to achieving the outcome you want, to allow more room to hear a "no". Read on for more.

Express Anger with Responsibility

Express Anger with Responsibility

Express Anger with Responsibility

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 3 - 5 minutes •

Article
3 - 5 minutes

Anger can bring in judgment and blame. Instead, use anger and frustration to identify what’s important and express what matters to you in a collaborative way.

Moving Towards Life-Serving Responsibility in NVC

Moving Towards Life-Serving Responsibility in NVC

Moving Towards Life-Serving Responsibility in NVC

with Bob Wentworth

Article • 11 - 26 minutes •

Article
11 - 26 minutes

In the "obnoxious stage" we care for our needs in a way that doesn't respect others' needs. In the "emotional liberation" stage we fully care for others' needs as much as our own—while being free of fear, guilt, shame, or obligation. Often NVC training teaches us how to achieve the latter stage without the former. For greater compassion we can be more rigorous in how we talk about...

Taking Responsibility for Sustaining Life on Earth

Taking Responsibility for Sustaining Life on Earth

Taking Responsibility for Sustaining Life on Earth

with Miki Kashtan

Video • 5 minutes •

Video
5 minutes

Listen in as Miki challenges participants to step beyond the comfort or discomfort of their lives, and encourages them to instead take responsibility for their part in sustaining life on this planet, and more.

The Compass - Taking Responsibility in the Face of Guilt and Judgment

The Compass - Taking Responsibility in the Face of Guilt and Judgment

The Compass - Taking Responsibility in the Face of Guilt and Judgment

with Arnina Kashtan

Audio • 1 hour, 3 minutes •

Audio
1 hour, 3 minutes

The Compass – Arnina Kashtan's in-depth transformational process – is specifically designed to support you in reliably deepening your understanding of your own and others' conditioning, and finding ways to reclaim your full connection with yourself.

Blame, Responsibility, And Care

Blame, Responsibility, And Care

Blame, Responsibility, And Care

with Miki Kashtan

Article • 11 - 16 minutes •

Article
11 - 16 minutes

One NVC principle is "stimulus vs cause" - one may be the stimulus but never the cause of another's feelings. When we're upset this principle can help us express pain without blame. However, when others are upset it's easy to slip into blaming them using this principle. Instead, we can hear their pain with care and heartfelt mourning - without guilt nor defensiveness, and whether or not we...

Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

Understanding I’m Not Responsible for Another's Feelings

with Jeff Brown

Trainer Tip • 2-3 minutes •

Trainer Tip
2-3 minutes

Ask the Trainer: "I understand that I'm not responsible for someone else's feelings, but my girlfriend doesn't. Do you have ideas for how I could get her to understand this concept?"

Distinguishing Response from Reaction

Distinguishing Response from Reaction

Distinguishing Response from Reaction

with Kathleen Macferran & Jared Finkelstein

Trainer Tip • 10 - 15 minutes •

Trainer Tip
10 - 15 minutes

In this book excerpt, Kathleen and Jared offer a path to reach deeper clarity, distinguishing between response and reaction.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 7. Talk about Conflict When You’re Not in Conflict

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 7. Talk about Conflict When You’re Not in Conflict

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 7. Talk about Conflict When You’re Not in Conflict

with Eric Bowers

Trainer Tip • 4 - 6 minutes •

Trainer Tip
4 - 6 minutes

Conflict is a normal and natural part of life. To varying degrees, it happens whenever two or more people consistently spend time together. Resolving conflict effectively and peacefully, in a way in which all parties feel respected and valued, does not feel natural for those of us who grew up with punitive, adversarial, or avoidant approaches to conflict. Eric offers some tips for approaching...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 2. Cultivate Connection before Asking for Action

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 2. Cultivate Connection before Asking for Action

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 2. Cultivate Connection before Asking for Action

with Eric Bowers

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Learn when to use the two types of requests in the practice of Nonviolent Communication: Action Requests and Connection Requests. Both are important when working through conflict or difficult situations and for building connection.

Prepare for Love (12 Session Course)

Prepare for Love (12 Session Course)

Prepare for Love (12 Session Course)

with Eric Bowers

Audio • 9 hours, 7 minutes •

Audio
9 hours, 7 minutes

Join Eric Bowers in transforming past relationship pain, coming alive in community and creating thriving relationships. This 12 session Telecourse recording brings together Eric's passions for Nonviolent Communication, Attachment Theory and Interpersonal Neurobiology.

Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

Grounded Responses for Challenging Comments

with LaShelle Lowe-Chardé

Article • 3 - 5 minutes •

Article
3 - 5 minutes

When someone responds with painful sarcasm, criticism, or dismissal you can respond with empathy, or with clarity about your intention, need and request. If you're unable to do this, later you can privately write what they said, identify the feelings and needs of both of you, then write possible responses. This can help you remember to stay with your intention and what’s true for you without...

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 1. Ask Before Offering Advice or Suggestions

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 1. Ask Before Offering Advice or Suggestions

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 1. Ask Before Offering Advice or Suggestions

with Eric Bowers

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

Do you ever think you have the perfect answer for someone who is struggling? Eric offers a tip on how to approach situations like this.

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 8. Practice Self-Empathy with Your Whole Body

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 8. Practice Self-Empathy with Your Whole Body

Tips for the Road Series: Tip 8. Practice Self-Empathy with Your Whole Body

with Eric Bowers

Trainer Tip • 1 - 2 minutes •

Trainer Tip
1 - 2 minutes

In our fast-paced, busy lives it is tempting to practice NVC mostly with the left hemisphere of the brain, thinking through the steps quickly without slowing down to connect more deeply with feelings and needs. Don't miss an opportunity to integrate the hemispheres of the brain and the valuable information from the neural networks in the heart and gut.

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