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What To Do When They Never Want to Talk About It

Article • 5 - 7 minutes • 09/2019
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes
09/2019

When someone doesn't want to talk some options include releasing your attachment to the strategy you want, asking about and affirming with empathy their reasons for not talking, looking for what support could be helpful to shift to more openness, letting go, and grieving. Read on for more on this, including possible reasons for why they might not want to engage on it.


Asking to be Known

Article • 7 - 12 minutes • 3/2019
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
7 - 12 minutes
3/2019

There are various ways to be known. Learn how to engage and make clear requests accordingly. This includes getting clear in yourself about what exactly you want known; communicating how important it is to you; sharing examples in your life of being known; requesting and negotiating from the energy of the met need; letting the other person know whether or not the relationship is really sustainable for you if the need goes unmet long-term; and checking the other person's capacity.


Nonviolence in the Face of Hatred

Article • 14 - 21 minutes • 11/2017
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
14 - 21 minutes
11/2017

When Anita's sister reveals that the Ku Klux Klan broke into her home and dragged her out into a field towards a burning cross, Anita's commitment to nonviolence is challenged. Here, Miki highlights practices and lessons from her story of inner struggle -- including an insight about how, even in extreme polarization, our freedom and healing is wrapped up in others' freedom and healing.


Motivation Through Joy

Trainer Tip • 1-2 minutes • 10/2005
Introductory Skill Level
Trainer Tip
1-2 minutes
10/2005

Pay attention to when you're motivated by guilt, duty, obligation, shame, and worry. How do you feel? Does it bring up resentment, rebellion, submission, reactivity or resistance? When you're motivated by joy notice how that feels, and how others respond. Read on for a related story.


Understanding and Healing from Bullying, Giving and Receiving

Article • 6 - 9 minutes • 04/2013
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
6 - 9 minutes
04/2013

When bullying occurs, if we do our own healing, our brains can become more sharp and present and willing to take action to connect and to begin to shift and mitigate the harm that trauma does in our world. We can reduce trauma inflicted upon others when we recognize the patterns of abuse and bullying, hold zero tolerance for it, bring in support for both sides of the conflict, and take action to effect systemic change. Read on for more.


Lonely Together

Article • 5 - 7 minutes • 05/2020
Beginner Skill Level
Article
5 - 7 minutes
05/2020

When conflict or criticism occurs, we can notice two layers of meaning to create connection: the content and the needs the speaker is holding. When we are able to recognize this --and ideally engage open-heartedly, with curiosity, make clear requests, imagining what they want, no matter how their expression was framed -- we have more opportunity to support the longevity of our relationships, and to decrease our loneliness when together.


Self Empathy/Regulation Process

Practice Exercise • 30 minutes • 12/1/2016
All Skill Levels
Practice Exercise
30 minutes
12/1/2016

Building your body and mind awareness can help you better regulate/calm your emotions.  Regular self-empathy will help you better regulate your emotions as well as increase your body and mind awareness.  If you are not aware of amygdala activation(fight/flight/freeze response), you will react instead of responding with choice. Use this eight step process to develop your self empathy/regulation skills.


Creating the Life You Want With Powerful Requests (5 Session Course)

Audio • 5 hours, 11 minutes • 03/2008
Intermediate Skill Level
Audio
5 hours, 11 minutes
03/2008

In this telecourse recording, expert trainer Miki Kashtan will help you uncover what prevents you from making requests for everything you want without fear. The class includes daily practices for requests skill building.


Two-Way Street Empathy and Honesty

Trainer Tip • 4 minutes • 03/2007
Intermediate Skill Level
Trainer Tip
4 minutes
03/2007

Ask the Trainer: "I recently attended an NVC workshop where the focus was entirely upon empathy, and expressing honestly was not covered. Aren't empathy and honesty both vital NVC components?"


Healing a Repetitive Reactive Dynamic

Article • 3-5 minutes • 6/2018
Intermediate Skill Level
Article
3-5 minutes
6/2018

In healing reactivity try identifying your most common complaints, wishes, or requests. Or when you tend to defend, justify, get angry, or protect. Find the tender needs. You can recall when you experienced deep nourishment of that need. Several times a week nourish your tender needs. Be clear about the strategy to address needs by answering key questions. Read on for more.


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